Nervousness is the step before Acceptance
(aka… why showing up scared is still showing up brave)
Let’s talk about it. Almost every person who books an intimate session with me tells me the same thing before they arrive:
“I’m excited… but I’m really nervous.” And I always smile, because nervousness is not a red flag babe. It’s a sign you care about how you see yourself.
Most of us weren’t taught how to be comfortable in our bodies. We were taught how to shrink them, hide them, and compare them.
More than that we have been taught we have to wait until they look different before loving them.
So when you decide to step in front of a camera, especially for something intimate, your body remembers all of that.
That tight feeling in your chest?
That voice asking if you’re doing this “right”?
That sudden urge to apologize for how you look?
That isn’t actually nervousness. It's history. It is what you have learned to keep you safe. Accepting how you look in the mirror without hating yourself isn't the norm. So to learn self-acceptance it doesn’t begin with confidence, it begins with showing up anyway.
I don’t expect you to walk into your session loving every part of yourself. That’s not realistic and it’s truly not the goal.
The goal is being kinder, and giving yourself space. Space for what? I'm glad you asked love.
Space to breathe.
Space to move without correcting yourself.
Space to exist without performing.
During your session, I guide you. I ask you to take a moment for yourself to slow down. I talk you through what to do with your hands, and remind you to breathe. We laugh. We dance. Sometimes we reset, and we pause when your nerves spike.
Because nervousness isn’t something we push past. After a life time of feeling this way it doesn't make sense to. We work with it. This leaves space for something beautiful to happen. When your body realizes it isn’t being judged, and that it is allowed to simply exist. You take a moment for you that isn't being watched, you release tension in your jaw and you are allowed to exist within yourself not worry what you "should look like".
That’s self-acceptance becoming real in that moment. It is not a big dramatic moment and it's not a sudden wave of confidence. Just a quiet shift from
“I hope I look okay”
to
“I’m allowed to be exist.”
You don’t need to be fearless to book an intimate session. You only need to be willing to see yourself maybe for the first time or maybe it's a reintroduction to someone you thought was long gone.
Be willing to show up with your nerves.
Be willing to let your body take up space.
Be willing to meet yourself exactly as you are today.
Nervousness is not the opposite of self-acceptance.
It’s often the very first step towards it.
